Attraction has always been interesting to me… I think it is for most people. It’s how Alicia and I landed each other and how all epic romances start and flourish. Yet, it often remains in the shadows, isn’t talked about directly, much less studied.

I had to study it… because what was modeled for me by my parents in terms of romance was a disaster and a short one at that.

In my early 20’s I was so desperate to learn… and hook up, that I made an offer to a woman daily. That was my practice. I meditated and made a romantic offer daily! The meditation always led to good results the offers were a roller coaster ride. I learned what to do and what not to do. What attracted me in and what didn’t.

When Alicia came along, I had some idea how not to step on my own. After an amazing weekend in which we were both taking a workshop (that I normally taught with my friend Jerry Candelaria and Guy) and doing a ton of exercises with each other, and flirting all weekend, the energy was high between Alicia and I. I walked up to her and said “Would you like to have a cup of coffee in the city soon.” She looked at me like I was insane!

I turned around without even her responding then turned back gave her my card (back then there were no cellphone numbers, believe it or not, and people used cards – little 1.5” by 3” inch pieces of cardstock with your info and some version of why they should relate with you). I said, “Call me when you want.”

She didn’t call.

So I called.

But I waited a week.

We had a nice chat… long story short we did that for four months… I had to call and I had to keep quitting her because I couldn’t even get her to admit we were flirting.

Then finally!!! She got lost on some road in the middle of the night and who did she call?


Actually me.

Eventually, I realized she was running that whole Attraction process we were in! …. but I did a few things right… finally.