Attraction has always been interesting to me… I think it is for most people. It’s how Alicia and I landed each other and how all epic romances start and flourish. Yet, it often remains in the shadows, isn’t talked about directly, much less studied.
I had to study it… because what was modeled for me by my parents in terms of romance was a disaster and a short one at that.
In my early 20’s I was so desperate to learn… and hook up, that I made an offer to a woman daily. That was my practice. I meditated and made a romantic offer daily! The meditation always led to good results the offers were a roller coaster ride. I learned what to do and what not to do. What attracted me in and what didn’t.
When Alicia came along, I had some idea how not to step on my own. After an amazing weekend in which we were both taking a workshop (that I normally taught with my friend Jerry Candelaria and Guy) and doing a ton of exercises with each other, and flirting all weekend, the energy was high between Alicia and I. I walked up to her and said “Would you like to have a cup of coffee in the city soon.” She looked at me like I was insane!
I turned around without even her responding then turned back gave her my card (back then there were no cellphone numbers, believe it or not, and people used cards – little 1.5” by 3” inch pieces of cardstock with your info and some version of why they should relate with you). I said, “Call me when you want.”
She didn’t call.
So I called.
But I waited a week.
We had a nice chat… long story short we did that for four months… I had to call and I had to keep quitting her because I couldn’t even get her to admit we were flirting.
Then finally!!! She got lost on some road in the middle of the night and who did she call?
Ghostbusters?
Actually me.
Eventually, I realized she was running that whole Attraction process we were in! …. but I did a few things right… finally.